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It was many moons ago, late one evening in a cold garage in a small town in the middle of nowhere, a legend arose. It began with a puff of smoke from a big fat doobie and a case of PBR. … This is the story of the Dirty Reggae Punx. It all started with a kiss from a beautiful woman. (Doesn’t every great story start with a kiss from a beautiful woman?) A bunch of idiots that decided it was time to do big things with a couple of guitars and an utter lack of talent. Hammering out half-assed chords and singing like alley cats being stepped on is where the story started…

After finding some solid roots and putting together the right group of people, the DRP officially started and played their first show in January 2013. Hired to play a show that followed a pond Hockey tournament in the freezing tundra, the DRP heated things up by promoting chaos and drinking, and that was the beginning of something huge… Rising from an area saturated with bands playing all the same jukebox hits mixed with an elite underground metal scene, a punk band didn’t seem to have a chance, surmounting all odds, this band of idiots prevailed and somehow managed to get more gigs. Featuring members of the shittiest band in the world, Green Jellö, the Dirty Reggae Punx transformed their show into a display of chaos and dysfunction by adding puppets and – following in the footsteps of mentor and friend, the master of puppets himself… Grammy nominated, Bill Manspeaker.

Because simple minds have the most fun, with the help of young children, the Dirty Reggae Punx wrote their first album “Throbbin’ the Woods” and hit the studio in early 2014. By the eerie light of a full moon, they released their debut album on Friday the 13th on a mid-summer night in June. Of course they were running late as usual and on the way to the show while passing the doobie. Out of nowhere, with a loud thump, they hit a raccoon. With no time to stop and check to see if there was damage, they quickly forgot about it and hurried to the show. Little did they know that the full moon had aligned with the stars just right on the spooky, magical night of Friday the 13th. That night, a heavy fog rolled in, more dense than the fog in the lad’s brains from the multiple doobies.

The CD release party went off without a hitch, little did they know that these clueless puppet masters had unknowingly created a monster that night. As the fog covered the lifeless body of that fat raccoon they left half smashed and bloody in the middle of that old county road, something happened. At first, a twitch in the beast’s flea-bitten body was all that could be noticed. A twitch so light, if seen, the average person would write it off as the nervous system just releasing the last little bit of energy it had left. Suddenly there was a gasp, as the little guy had a breath of new life, followed by a lip curling, menacing and slow… With great effort, the raccoon drug its paw across the rocky pavement and tried to peel itself of of the road. As cars randomly came speeding by blindly in the fog, the raccoon kept trying to peel itself off the pavement. Suddenly the reanimated beast was back up on its feet, limping and dragging itself toward the ditch. Slowly the fog lifted as the raccoon tried to find its bearings, dazed and confused by the night’s events when, in a wave of hunger everything turned red. The raccoon pointed his nose in the air, snarling and screaming in pain as it stretched out and started making his way toward the smell of revenge.

After the show, The Dirty Reggae Punx were heading home, not realizing the roadkill they left for the scavengers wasn’t anywhere to be found. Little did they know, they had become the prey of a beast out for revenge, or that they would spend so much time dodging the attempts on their lives by the very thing they helped create.

To be continued…

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